It has been a while since you went to see your Mom and I haven’t heard from you, so I thought I would drop you a line.
First off, everyone misses you and wishes you wouldn’t have left. They said to tell you “Hi!” I am not doing too much. I keep waiting for a text from you, but it doesn’t come. That’s okay, though, as long as you are all right. I know your mom was glad to see you.
You couldn’t stand the traffic in Baton Rouge, and it hasn’t gotten any better. Getting around is getting harder and harder. I know how you always hated the traffic here and maybe you can ask for help from the one you are closest to now…Jesus!
You Are With Your Mom Now
If I could, I would ask how’s your mom, but I know she is doing okay. I also understand that neither one of you probably want come back here if you had a chance. Your old Pop can’t really can’t say that I blame you all. Every night there is a shooting or robbery and someone getting beat up or killed. If we, as people of God, would learn how to get along with one another, things would be a lot better. There is too much of pointing the finger at the other person in the world today. So, you see, things are still the same.
I’ve talked to some of your friends and they all miss you so much. They have been looking out for your old pop. You sure had some good friends.
Time on the Couch and Time to Make Amends
Do you remember the night before you left? We sat together on the couch. You told me you loved me and you were sorry that you had misjudged me. Those words meant a lot to me and I appreciate you saying that. I still have many questions about things I will probably never understand. You asked me not to judge you, but I believe judging is not up to me. I believe only God can judge people. You told me that you were glad I was sitting on the couch with you. I am grateful for those words and relive that time over and over. It was the most precious time of my life. There was nowhere else I would have rather been than where I was that night.
It was such a loving gesture for you to hold my hand and tell me you loved me. I love you too, my man, and miss you more than you’ll ever know.
Life Continues, But I Still Miss You
Well, son, I have to go now. Would you please tell mom that I miss her? I really look forward to the time that we can all be together again. I bet you can’t get over the peacefulness you have now. That’s good because you need it. I know that although you had a bit of success here on earth, you weren’t very happy. Now, you don’t have to worry about all the mess here on earth.
Everyone sends their love and prayers to you. I love you and miss you very much. We didn’t spend a lot of time together, but I feel the time was very special because you made it that way. I looked at some old soccer pictures the other day and laughed. Those were fun times.
You know, son, my life has changed a great deal since you two left me, but I am okay. We, who are left behind, have to go on. I miss you and mom a great deal, but both of you are at peace now.
I’ll close now and send a hug to both of you via angel wings.
I write this letter with a very heavy heart as it has been a year since the passing of my 45-year-old son. Death of a child is something that is feared by all parents because of its unnaturalness. It is something, “that isn’t supposed to happen,” for a parent to bury a child.
When I walked him to the bathroom that evening, I had no idea that it would be the final time I would walk with him. He walked better that time than he had during the two nights I had been there. He even got up by himself, which made me think he was doing better. Even with the autopsy results, I still don’t understand what killed him. I guess God gave me a chance to see him walk and talk more normally one more time. Telling him to call me when he needed me, I turned to walk away when he fell against the wall. When he didn’t respond to me calling him, I went into the bathroom. He wasn’t breathing and his left arm was already blue. I immediately called 911 and the rest goes unsaid.
My prayers are with all who have lost a son or daughter, regardless of how old or young they were. It is a very difficult thing to go through, but with the Lord’s help, we get through it.
To all of my son’s friends, I want to say thank you for being there for him and for loving him. Jason was a good young man but he was not simple and finding happiness eluded him. I find comfort in the promises of God that death is really the beginning. My son now has the happiness and peace that he was seeking.
4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[a] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”